so deep and meaningful all the time"

today what a perfect night to read through old online-journals/**bLoGzZz**
here are some highlights.
you might enjoy.

"Also the people at Taco Bell put meat on my taco and then scraped it off, leaving the few remaining crumbs of beef that completely ruined my taco and my life.

Also I am wasting my time at college because I dont have a major and I hate everything

Also I watched the beginning of Final destination 2 today which made me scared to drive anywhere this whole day.. because I was afraid of a flaming truck speeding towards me as I lay helpless, trapped in my tipped-over vehicele."

"1. the boy who sits by me in psychology who always asks to borrow my pen, and then doesn't even take notes, he draws elaborate, detailed pictures for the whole class. don't you think you could remember to bring a pen just one day of this whole year so you could waste your own ink?? also, what is this new trend of asking me "excuse me, what homework did we have due today?" dumbass! it might be a good idea to ask me the day before instead of the DAY OF. ugh"

"I am in a grumpy mood because my baby owl died. Actually 2 baby owls died and I'm probably sinking into a deep depression.
I hate scarlet johanson."

"I THOUGHT THEY WERE PICTURES OF ME WHEN I FIRST SAW THEM"

"Yesterday my the rapist said:

"You're not having sex? That's really weird, Lizzie!"

Thank you for making me even more insecure, YOUR JOB."

"Funny things to do at the gynecologist:

Poop in the cup instead of pee

Suggestively raise your eyebrows at the assistant

Dont shave your legs for months

Have your gynecologists name written on your inner thigh

Moan during the exam

Have 3 or more old tampons shoved up your that thing

Seductively undress

Insist on wearing only the paper vest home

OR arrive already wearing a paper vest

Eat something messy like a big sandwich during the exam"

"I was thinking today that I should get part of my tattoo removed so that it says "beaut"
I think that would be hilarious."

"Willy Wonka- a purple shirt that says something on it that has nothing to do with Willy Wonka. In fact it doesn't even have to be completely purple. Carry around a piece of candy, but don't bring your own, wait until you get one from trick or treating."

"You make me pee in my skirt at our middle school reunion.

You should come back here because I HATE YOU, WANT TO HARM YOU.

Someday I will have a wedding and you will be the ringbearer/trapeze artist/rape victim.

You = BOO.

If I saw you now I'd probably say "oh, um, hi" shyly because we aren't good at stuff like that.

I would build a prosthetic limb just for you.

I would get your name tattooed on my inside of my bottom lip, right after "fuck you".

If I could sing you any song it would be She's All I Ever Had.

We could make a video of us saying "oh, oh! OH" under the stars.

My love for you is like that of a mad butterfly that just got woken up from its cocoon.

Love,

AMPUTEE"

"Anyone who doesn't appreciate the humor of making my mittens to look like flippers is not worth my time!"


____________

that should be sufficient. things have certainly changed OR HAVE THEY
dun dun dun