they call them rogues

i hate the feeling of metal scraping against concrete,

but i don't mind feeling alone

::::keeping to myself is the only thing i've ever known::::

i struggle with your pronouns

(and i hoped you would have noticed)

shiny fingers

                                                    and if she seems as lonely as me,

let

 her

s

     i

             n

                         k

i always thought that was you.

if i ever need to believe in a lie i know where to go.

it's a comfort that my life(less body) has come to rely on---

and it's what i don't understand that simultaneously breaks me and makes me whole.

there are dreams that will never come true.

i'm waiting for this urge to dissolve completely. i won't be able to see it, then.

i won't be able to sleep.

i won't be able to sleep.

but just as much as i wouldn't DARE ask... you will never know, either.

stop, just stop.

Think I might have only cried just once.

i've learned the broken mirrors will always find each other.

and, candy shop smiles will shine forever.

silk will crack.

love will survive.

i'm not your star

and i pretend that i'm not coming home

it's funny, these answers are all that i need

no that isn't all

i didn't know leaving was an option, like the bomb to follow would be the only dry sound

"have no fear of perfection, you'll never reach it"

hope can be lost. this is a process incomplete.

miles of my love

tearrrr through the streets.

this cannot be measured. this cannot be allowed aloud. see?

i would never choose a more important message.

23

i felt for sure last night

at once we said goodbye

no one else will know these lonely dreams

no one else will know that part of me

i'm still driving away

and i'm sorry every day

i wont always love these selfish things

i wont always live not stopping

it was my turn to decide

i knew this was our time

no one else will have me like you do

no one else will have me, only you

you'll sit alone forever

if you wait for the right time

what are you hoping for?

i'm here and now i'm ready

holding on tight

don't give away the end

the one thing that stays mine

amazing still it seems

i'll be 23

i wont always love what i'll never have

i wont always live in my regrets

you'll sit alone forever

if you wait for the right time

what are you hoping for?

i'm here and now i'm ready

holding on tight

don't give away the end

the one thing that stays mine

this song has meant a lot of things to me over the years.
and now, finally (forever) it means one more.

everything and nothing is hard to believe.

blue blue windows

i didn't KNOW it was possible to see each individual blade of grass.

EVERYONE IS JUST SO ATTRACTIVE.

we're all looking for a way to cope. that's all.

phantom limbs, maybe

you'll love it
you'll hate it
you'll miss it


it's a control issue, really. and the misunderstanding that i can somehow live without sleep, food, or human connection.
t h i s n e e d s t o s t o p

unraaavel

i am reaching, i promise

07/08/09

everything feels lighter today

everything feels
lighter
today

everything
feels
lighter
today

just ignore all this present tense

dear human race,
i don't need you. i just desperately need your approval.

sometimes i am retracted and small
sometimes i don't give you enough credit

"i'm gasping for the air to fill my lungs with everything i've lost"

i'll only bring you sorrow

they'd never suspect me. as the son of the head of security, my shoplifting will cause an uproar! i'll pace these floors and take whatever's mine. it's all mine.

in the moonlight you looked older. not advanced in age but expired. i saw your past-life and i transformed.


and now for a holiday celebration:

Reasons why I hate the 4th of july (from 7/4/06)
1. fireworks suck and they sound like bombs
2. there are ants in my room still
3. i'm sunburned
4. i can't play pockettanks
5. i haven't eaten since breakfast

you left and said to me don't follow

the water rolls down the drain

oh hey, JUST WONDERING
why do i ask questions when i was never seeking the answers at all?

there is a difference between being patient and simply not caring.
there is a difference between jealousy and envy.

i've seen something that terrifies me now.

and, i'm sorry that my nectarine pit hit you in the head and killed you instantly. i wasn't paying attention.